When someone you love dies, the first few hours can feel surreal. Alongside grief and shock, there are practical decisions that suddenly need attention. Many families feel uncertain about what happens next, who to call, and what must be done first.
At Windsor Funerals, one of the most important things we remind families of is this: you do not need to have all the answers straight away and you are not expected to navigate this alone. The first 24 hours are about taking one step at a time, gathering support around you, and allowing experienced professionals to guide you through the practical details.
Here is a simple guide to help you understand what to expect and what to do first.
Step 1: Take a Moment and Call Someone You Trust
Before making arrangements, pause if you can.
Call a close family member, friend, minister, or someone who can sit with you and help you think clearly. Grief can create what many people describe as “brain fog,” making even simple decisions feel overwhelming.
You do not need to carry the weight of the first few hours by yourself.
Step 2: Understand Who Needs to Be Contacted First
What happens next will depend on where the death occurred.
If your loved one dies at home
If the death was expected, such as during palliative care, contact the nurse, hospice team, or doctor involved in their care. They will guide you through the next steps and arrange for the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.
If the death was unexpected, call emergency services on 111.
If the death occurs in hospital or aged care
If your loved one dies in a hospital or aged care home, the staff will guide you through the immediate next steps. In an aged care home, you’ll usually be asked which funeral home you would like to use. Once you’ve confirmed your choice and whether your loved one will be buried or cremated, the staff will contact the doctor to complete the necessary medical paperwork. Your funeral director will then liaise directly with the hospital or care home to ensure all documentation is in order before your loved one is transferred into their care.
If the coroner becomes involved
Sometimes a death must be referred to the coroner, particularly if it was sudden, accidental, or unexplained. In these cases, there may be additional waiting periods and paperwork involved. A funeral director can help explain the process and liaise with the authorities on your behalf.
Regardless of the circumstance or location of someone’s death, you can always call your local funeral home first for advice and support.
Step 3: Contact a Funeral Home
One of the most helpful things you can do in the first 24 hours is contact a funeral director you trust.
A funeral home will help coordinate transportation, paperwork, communication with hospitals or the coroner, and guide you through the next decisions at a manageable pace.
A funeral director can also provide immediate practical advice about caring for your loved one in the hours following their death. Understandably, families often have questions such as how to care for their body and whether they must be transferred to a funeral home immediately. Depending on the circumstances, it may be possible for your loved one to remain at home for a period of time. Your funeral director can explain everything and answer any questions you might have.
At Windsor Funerals, you will always speak directly with an experienced funeral director rather than a call centre. The goal for us is simple: to help guide you through the practical side of loss with care and compassion, and to walk beside you as you navigate this challenging time.
Step 4: Notify Immediate Family and Close Friends
There is no perfect way to make these calls.
Keep communication simple and clear. You do not need to explain every detail immediately. Many families find it helpful to ask one trusted person to help notify others so the responsibility is not sitting entirely on one person.
You may also wish to delay social media announcements until close family members have been informed personally.
Step 5: Avoid Feeling Pressured to Decide Everything Immediately
The details can wait until you have had time to speak with family, rest, and process what has happened. The role of the funeral team is to guide you through each step, so there is no need to have every answer prepared before your meeting with a funeral director.
It’s also important to remember there is no single “right” way to say goodbye. Some families choose a traditional funeral service, while others prefer a smaller memorial, private farewell, or direct cremation. When the time comes to make these decisions, a good funeral director will help you understand all the available options without pressure.
Step 6: Care for Yourself Too
Grief is exhausting physically, emotionally, and mentally.
In the first 24 hours:
- Drink water
- Eat small meals if possible
- Accept practical help
- Rest when you can
- Avoid making major unrelated decisions
You may feel numb, tearful, anxious, angry, or strangely calm. All of these responses are normal. There is no correct way to grieve.
What Happens Next?
After the first 24 hours, funeral planning usually becomes more structured. This may involve meeting with your funeral director, choosing burial or cremation, organising notices and paperwork, planning the service and coordinating family travel and support.
At Windsor Funerals, families can be as involved in the planning process as they wish, while the funeral team handles as much of the practical coordination as you need.
One thing that will be helpful as you move into the next few days is to gather important information and documents. These are really useful to have for the Births, Deaths and Marriages Register in New Zealand, as well as helping you carry out the wishes of your loved one. You do not need everything immediately, but over the first few days it can help to locate:
- Full legal name
- Date of birth
- NHI number if known
- Marriage certificate if applicable
- Will or funeral plan if one exists
- Details about burial or cremation wishes
- Clothing or personal items for your loved one
Losing someone you love is one of life’s most difficult experiences. While we can’t take away the grief, we can help carry the practical burden. If you have any questions, need advice, or simply aren’t sure what to do next, please reach out to our team. We’re here to support you with compassion, clarity, and care, every step of the way.
