Funerals in Auckland, New Zealand frequently share many similarities with those in other Western countries, but the rich cultural diversity here means there are unique traditions that reflect the different communities who call this place home.
The Māori tradition, for example, honours the dead through a tangihanga ceremony. Commonly referred to as a tangi (meaning “weep” or “cry”), the tangihanga typically lasts for three days on a marae, with guests traveling from across the country to pay their respects and mourn the deceased. You can learn more about these beautiful traditions here: Tangihanga – death customs.
We are always honoured to be part of these ceremonies; however, it’s important to note that the Māori community often comes together to plan and build these deeply meaningful rituals.
At Windsor Funerals, we’re based in Auckland and frequently called upon to facilitate funerals for individuals of Filipino, Chinese, Korean, Pacific Island, Indian, and Western heritage. Every funeral is unique, with its own cultural touch points, and we intentionally work to incorporate these special traditions throughout the process.
With that in mind, here are 6 helpful tips and etiquette observations for attending a funeral in Auckland.
- Who should attend a funeral?
In most cases, everyone is invited to a funeral and an invitation is not required. If you did not know the individual who died, but want to support the family members and those close to them, attending the funeral as a form of support is also common.
In some cases, a private funeral or memorial is planned by the family. These wishes should be honoured. If you still want to honour the individual’s life, we encourage you to find a way to memorialise them.
- What time should I arrive at a funeral?
We encourage attendees to arrive 20 minutes prior to the service starting to show respect for the deceased and for the family. If it is a large funeral, often people arrive up to an hour early. Arriving late is in poor taste and can distract attendees and attention away from the individual being honoured.
- What is the Dress Code at a Kiwi Funeral?
Kiwi funerals usually require tidy respectful clothing. Black clothing is common, but subdued clothing is also accepted. Sometimes funeral organisers have specifically requested bright colours or casual clothing but if uncertain, feel free to ask.
- Do I need to bring a gift to a funeral?
A gift is not required for a funeral service. Flowers are a nice gesture but families often ask for a donation to be made to a special organisation in their loved ones name. A card offering condolences and your favourite memories with the individual who passed is often appreciated by the grieving family as well.
Offering practical support to the family, such as helping with food, transport, or any other needs after the funeral, is also often appreciated. Grieving families may be overwhelmed with making arrangements, so offering specific assistance can be a meaningful gesture.
- Are there open caskets in Kiwi funerals?
Some families do choose an open casket for the service and many cultures request it. We always ensure the deceased person looks as peaceful and natural as possible. If so, there will be an opportunity to pay your respects to the individual, sometimes placing a flower or small personal memento provided by the family on the casket.
- Children at Funerals:
While children can attend funerals, it’s important to ensure that they understand the situation. Parents should assess whether the funeral is appropriate for their children and prepare them accordingly. Some families may prefer a quieter, more intimate ceremony, so it’s always best to check beforehand.
Windsor Funerals provides compassionate, personalised, affordable funeral options in Auckland.
Our team works closely with each family to ensure that every detail aligns with their values, budget, and vision for a meaningful farewell. We aim to help families make decisions that resonate with their loved ones’ lives and legacies. Contact our Windsor Funerals team today for more information or to discuss your options. We’re here to support you every step of the way.